Episodes of yesterday and a few weeks back are demanding voice. I obediently comply.

Riddle: What do you call:

a.  A small room in which a prisoner is locked up

b. The smallest structural and functional unit of an organism

c.  A modern device that both deletes and adds brain function- affectionately called Cellie

Once upon a Sunday, Cellie said, “Don’t leave me,  Lori”, so I shoved her into a quickly grabbed jacket on the way to an always extra cooled movie theatre. Unbeknownst to me, a melted piece of wrapped chocolate was keeping my little companion company.   Two hours later I emerged from the movie.  Checking on my little motor-mouthed friend, who gets VERY insistent if I ignore her for too long,  I reached into my pocket and felt something unusually gooey.
“Oh baby what have I done to you?”
Horrified for my little ‘world in my pocket,’ she emerges out of the fold and I stare in disbelief.
“No!” I say shaking my head.  “NO NO NO NO!!!!”
Cellie’s head and shoulders, about the top one-third of her precious flat body, was completely covered in milk chocolate goo.
I experienced Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s 5 states of grief in 10 seconds:
The Five States of Grief:    Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance

Denial- No! This did not happen!

Anger-  Darnit! (the G version)

Bargaining- Lord of the Tower, whatever must I do to end these episodes, speak to me.

Depression- How will I function?  There was no insurance.

Acceptance-  Face reality- Now you’ve got two good goo stories.


The last goo came when Matthew was a cub scout.  We raised money (aka extortion) by baking one dollar Duncan Hines cake mix cakes with dollar store decorations stuck in the icing and brought them to the meeting.   Next, our merciless sons begged begged begged for the cake THEY wanted the TRAPPED moms to bid on.    I laughed hysterically at my frugually wound friend Sandy whose son Brad convinced her to spend 35.00 on a dollar cake mix cake with plastic soldiers battling for control atop Chocolate land.   I laughed even harder when the cake I purchased for Matthew was ten dollars PLUS it came on a very nice baking sheet I could use in the future… Ribbing Sandy for weeks about her 35.00 purchase and my 10.00 get away-

Karma is REAL

Several weeks later, I bake a chicken on my new baking sheet from that cub scout night, set the buzzer, and disappear somewhere in the house.  30 minutes later there is quite a smell drawing me back to the kitchen.  The double oven, YES DOUBLE, is smoking.  I grab a potholder, open the oven door, and my jaw drops deeper than a canyon.   That ten-dollar cake with its additional baking sheet turned into a 1400.00 purchase.   My oven was a gooey melted plastic goop of goneness.   The baking sheet was not meant for the oven.   Karma is real.

Fast Forward…Back to the Movies!

Racing home from the movie, Cellie gets the cleaning of her life. I hope for good outcomes.  Calls come in and out of the phone. All good.  I exhale at the 9 lives of this device.

Three days later, her damage appears.   I bring up an audio from her storage, Donavan’s “Colours”- a song I listen to at least once a week.

My heart breaks for Cellie, me and Donvan.  That blasted chocolate must have melted Cellie’s voice box.   The sound is distorted.

I take her to the hospital-  Cellairis Repair and they break the bleak news.   One Hundred Fifty to replace the screen which must be broken to replace Cellie’s speaker and another 25 for the replacement of Cellie’s voice box-  her speaker.

Being one who doesn’t jump too quickly,  we leave the store and I decided to keep her on life support and just see how she works. Here it is two months later and she is still with me, getting much more blue tooth action than direct sound.   The last two days began Cellie’s decision to rebel at my procrastination of her surgery…

The Trip

I had some training work in Columbus, Georiga this week on Monday night from 6:30-8:30 and again Tuesday night 6:30-8:30 at two childcare centers, requiring a hotel stay.  Checked in around 3 pm, looking forward to relaxing and drawing a bit for a few hours.  The room is too small.  I walk to the office, a good distance from the room and request a 2 bed room.  Upon return I charge my phone. 10 minutes later, a roach says hello and I say goodbye, hike back down to the front desk, get the third room, pack up the second, move to the third,   charge my phone, unpack, begin to settle in.    Twenty minutes later, my phone is not charging.  I unplug every cord and try each outlet.   The plugger thing dangles a bit in the socket- I’m thinking the room’s not level and hike back to the office (even further) to use the lobby outlets.  Not charging.

Cellie You are Behaving Like a Teenager

My resistance to Miss Aggravation is weakening.  Time for a Walmart trip. The desk clerk gives directions since Cellie is null and void.   Get to Walmart, find the charger for LG, go back to hotel, rip open the packing and shake my head in disbelief. WRONG CHARGER.  BUT IT SAID LG!!!!   I have an LG.  Oh I see, you have to look at the tip and see if it’s the RIGHT tip for your LG… Just because it says “FOR YOUR LG”  doesn’t mean it’s “FOR YOUR LG”… #$%!!!****####@!!!!!###.  My head is shaking back and forth as Miss Aggravation is getting SUPER AGGRESSIVE to take root. Go back to Walmart. Try to use a rebate gift card from Sam’s Club they said was good at Walmart.  Time’s ticking but the check out kids can’t get the gift card to work.  I put out another 15 bucks, get the charger, head towards the front door, see a socket in front of the motorized wheelchairs and decide to charge before I leave.  Ended up having an AMAZING conversation with greeter, AMAZING and that’s for another day.  My charger works. I  do the training.  All is well.   The day ends.  The next day I check out at noon and kill time until 6:30 for the next training.

Day Two

About 4:30 I grab a bite and see that Cellie is loosing power.  I reach for the charger.  Not in my purse. Not in my car. Not in my trunk.  Oh goodness. I left it in the hotel room when checking out at noon.

Go back to hotel.  She sends maintainance to room 112. He returns, says not here.  She sends him to housekeeping.  He returns with nine left chargers.  Not one is mine but he invites me to take one that fits.  Nine times- not one fit.  I ask the desk clerk if I can go recheck the room because I’m positive it’s there.  We both check. Not there.  She comments ” Why is everything unplugged in this room?”  I laugh and confess to trying to each plug.        I do remember leaving the charger in the room and advise her that I guess the cleaner acquired a needed charger for her/his phone.

Back to Walmart in this pitifully unexaggerated story.  It’s not even over.   I purchase a charger.  3rd charger in 24 hours.    Look at my watch.  I have 20 minutes until the training I’m conducting starts.  Back in my car, engine on, out of the lot, pull my phone out for directions.  Cellie is NOT WITH ME!   I begin to think I live on and in Mars.  Must have left it in the store.  I know I did. Walk in the store, the kid who found my phone sees me and shouts “I just took it to the counter!”    Cellie and I unite. She was like a rebellious teenager this trip– It was all her, not me…..